Loss

posted on: Saturday, August 16, 2014



I started this blog years ago... just for family.  A way to keep far away family up to speed.  Over the years it turned into something a bit more.  A creative outlet, a ministry, a way to financially help our family, a place to make new friends, a community.

And through the years I discovered so many things.... that through social media, blogging, Instagram... the Lord can be glorified.  For as much evil and darkness that there is in this world and through social media.  There can be just as much good.  

My prayer through my blog is that Christ would be glorified. In every aspect of my life...whether the easy or the really hard.  That through my story, others might come to know the One True God. 

This past week has been a very hard one for our family.  We had a special announcement that never got to be made... we were expecting sweet baby number five.  I was still very early in my pregnancy... just a few days short of six weeks.  We had known for two and a half weeks about this little one.  Last Sunday I knew something wasn't quite right.  A trip to the dr. on Monday confirmed my fears.

I had never experienced a miscarriage before.  The sadness that you feel is a strange and aching one... mourning over the loss of your baby.  A little one you will never get to hold or kiss.  A life that you love more than you ever thought possible.  But through all of that sadness and aching... there is one thing that I am certain of.  My Lord is there to hold me up...to sustain me... to strengthen me.  He is my Rock. He is my Shelter.  

Through the week I had a handful of girlfriends and my mom texting and calling me.  The common thread among all of these women was that they too had miscarriages.  They understood the hurt and the ache.  One thing that my mom told me that is so true and so wise is.... no matter how many kids you already have... no matter how early the pregnancy was... it's okay to be sad. It's okay to mourn. Because it was a LIFE.  A precious life that is gone.   

To you mothers who have been there... who are going through it now... who may in the future.  Cling to Jesus.  I am so thankful for His promise to us... eternity spent in heaven with Him.  My heart is at peace knowing that my Lord is holding my sweet baby in heaven.  He is good. And He is so faithful.  So faithful.  

If you don't know who Christ is... if you're not sure where you'll go when you die... be certain.  Know without a doubt.  I serve a God who has changed my life forever.  I would love to share that same hope and assurance with you.  My email is thevanillatulip (at) yahoo (dot) com.  

This song has blessed me so much this week.  I pray it blesses you as well. 

"When I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay.

Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You"













24 comments:

  1. This brought tears to my eyes...praying for you & others that are going through this same thing right now.

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  2. Ashley, I am so sorry for your loss. God brings us so much strength during difficult times. You and your sweet family are in our thoughts and prayers!

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  3. May the Lord provide you with peace and comfort that only he can provide. We are trying for #2 and we already love our future baby as much as our son. A mother's love run so deep!! The Lord works in mysterious ways and He is cradling and loving your little babe.

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  4. I am truly sorry for your loss. I have been there. It was something I never thought would happen to my husband and I. It has changed me completely. It's sad to admit it has made me hard and angry but I do my best to keep the faith. I am sending love across the miles because it is so true what you said...No matter how many children you have, it is absolutely okay to mourn for however long it takes. Blessings to you...

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  5. Hugs to you. We lost a baby with our first pregnancy. It was such a difficult time in my life, but God has used it to enable me to help so many others in the same situation since. It is true that our greatest ministries come from our deepest hurts! Miscarriage can be such a lonely grieving - and it is a different grief, because instead of mourning a past, you mourn a future. So glad you are walking through it with Christ. My favorite verse came from that period in my life - "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and rescues those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18. Here's a post I wrote during that time that I pass on to others in the same situation... http://bahlikeasheep.blogspot.com/2010/05/what-i-have-learned.html. Hugs to you... I'm so very sorry for your precious loss.

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  6. Ashley our prayers are with you and your family. Continue to cling to your hope and faith in Christ. I'm sure there are lots of mama's in heaven who are lining up to snuggle and love on your sweet little one. God Bless.

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  7. You have been on my heart~ What an incredible reminder...He is good...always good!
    Much Love & Lots of Hugs from N.C.
    Elizabeth

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  8. i love you so much, been thinking about you daily. praying for your precious heart friend. ugh i just ache for you.... its hard to know if someone wants space or support so just know im here always. everyone grieves so differently, i adore you so

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  9. Such a beautiful post. I one day hope to have the kind of faith. Prayers for you and your family through this difficult time. The loss of a child is so painful no matter what the circumstances.

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  10. So sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you're going through.

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  11. I'm so sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers!

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  12. Praying for you and your sweet family

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  13. So, so sorry. Sending hugs and prayers your way. I know this pain. I miscarried, had a chemical pregnancy, and miscarried again before having my sweet baby girl. She's three months now! The Lord redeems and restores!

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  14. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I had a similar one between kids #2 and #3 and it was so devastating. Sending a gentle virtual hug.

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  15. Ashley, I'm so sorry for your loss. Words cannot begin to describe the ache you are feeling. Hugs.

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  16. Love you friend! Beautiful post. You are constantly in my prayers.

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  17. I feel your loss as a Mumma of loss too. Cherish those beautiful babes close to you this week. Big hugs xx

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  18. My heart has ached for you, friend. Many prayers for you and your family. xo

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  19. First time commenter here, but I so enjoy reading your blog and I wanted to send a virtual hug. I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for brighter days ahead for you and the family.

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  20. so sorry for your loss. praying for peace for you. sometimes it feels silently painful. however realizing that others have too been in this place seemed to be calming and reassuring to me.. I'm blessed with two little ones here and two in heaven that we lost through miscarriages. praying the Lord mends your heart and blesses your memories to come.

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  21. Hang in there sweet beautiful momma- rest in His arms- you have such a beautiful family who loves their Creator- will be in my prayers

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