Staying home

I've been thinking alot about this post for awhile.

Let me first start off by saying my intent is not to offend.
It is not to judge.

It is just to simply write what has been on my heart.

I don't know about you but I feel like any time mothers who stay-at-home and mothers who work get together there is more often than not the awkard assumption that each side looks down upon the other for the choice that they have made.

You strategically avoid certain conversations so as not to offend either party.
Any time the subject of "staying-home" and "working" gets brought up
most mothers automatically tense up getting ready to defend their desicion.
Would you agree?

With that being said, just relax:)
This isn't any sort of argument or debate.
Just what the Lord has laid on my heart this past week.

I realize that not every woman desires to stay at home with her children.
The majority of my friends, women who I love, work outside the home.

And they love it!
And they're good at what they do!

But I also know women who work and they hate it.

Women who have expressed to me the desire to stay home with their children

 but don't feel like they financially can.

Women who feel like it would be impossible to survive on one income.
This breaks my heart.

I understand there are circumstances where it really is not even close to possible.

But alot of the time it is.
It may not be comfortable...but it is doable.
It may take sacrafice.

Trust me...there are many months at our house that are not comfortable...but we make it.

This past year I have received countless e-mails asking how our family does it.
How we manage to financially survive on one income.
There is one woman in particular who's e-mail I have to share with you today.
She is a wife, mother of four young children and successful business woman.

"After 7 years of college I went right into a full time career. We bought a house and quickly began to build our lives around 2 incomes. Why wouldn't I? That's what people do here in NY. Mommas around here don't stay home with their babies! Not one person ever took the time to talk to me about what life would be like once I had children. Nobody ever told me "Hey, be careful of the life you are creating...one day you may want to stay home with your babies" nothing. So I kept going and going. After getting saved five years ago God began to work in my life and I started to see I had become a woman God certainly did not want me to be. I know now that I want to be home...need to be home to be the mother and wife God wants me to be...but unfortunately I cant' b/c I am left paying for my "2 income lifestyle."

I'm excited for my friend and what the new year is going to bring for her and her family.
Their goal is to have her staying home by next year.
Because that's what they feel is best for their family.

So this post is partly for the young women who read the blog who don't have children.
It's something to think about.
America has fallen into the two income trap.
You get married, both have successful jobs, have babies,
and then you can't stay home if you desire to because you live in a two-income world.
Maybe before you have kids you could start saving your salary and just live on your husband's.
And that may not work.
But like my friend said, she wished someone had told her.
So we're telling you today.
It's something to think about.

This post is also for you moms that have asked how we do it.
The moms who desperately want to be home with their babies.
This is how we do it.

If you've read the blog long enough you know that my husband is a football coach and teacher.
And you probably know that coaches/teachers don't make alot of money.
Like..at all.

So with that being said I don't want anyone to assume we are rolling in the dough from my husband's job. ;)

One of the ways we make it work is by me taking on odd jobs.
The jobs that I've done in the past four years as a stay-at-home mom are...
-Childcare in my home

-Sewing

-Teaching piano lessons

-Cleaning homes

-Buying and re-selling items on Craigslist for profit

-Selling on Ebay

-Paid church pianist

I'm sure there are a few random ones I am not thinking of but those are the basics.

If you need more ideas e-mail me

and I would love to brainstorm with you jobs/ways for you to make money!

Another way we make it work is by what we buy.
We don't live in a gigantic home.
My husband drives a really old truck.

We very rarely buy clothes for ourselves.

For groceries I have a set amount that I spend each week.
That set amount is for groceries, diapers, formula, dog food, everything.

I make a menu plan every two weeks (sometimes every week).

I make a category for breakfasts, lunches and dinners.

I then make a grocery list with all the ingredients needed.
THEN I go through and put the dollar amounts next to each food and total it up.
I can then get a good idea of how much I will be spending that grocery trip.
I can add or take away things that aren't needed.
This way when I get to the checkout I'm not shocked at the bill.

It takes me a good evening to do this...but it's what makes it work for our family.

As far as clothing the kids.

With Emma's clothes I try and buy a few name brand outfits.
Usually from Ebay.
The reason for this is so that the next season I can re-sell the outfit on Ebay

for usually the same price I bought it for.

I then use this money to clothe her for that season.

For the boys I usually just buy from the second hand store or Target.
I've found that re-selling boys clothes doesn't make alot of profit.

We cut up our credit cards a few years ago.

So there's no falling back on anything which makes it a little scary.
But the Lord has provided for us.
Each and every month.

If there is anything we might want I either try

to cut back on our grocery budget that month

or I pick up an extra little odd job.

There is definitely not alot of money for extras.
But that's ok.
That's a choice that we've made for our family.

There will be a day when we can buy extras.
But for now our choice is for me to be home with the kids.

So that's it in a nutshell.
If you have any questions please ask.
I'd love to answer them.

And again, my intent of this post is not to offend anyone at ALL.

And I don't want to assume anything for your family.
This is just what has worked for our family.

Hope you're having a good Thursday!